I. AM. BACK.
It blows my mind that I haven’t blogged in 14 months. I’ve
wanted to start a steady blog for the last 4 years now but for one reason or
another, it just doesn’t seem to work out. The last time I made an entry was
during a very fun time in my life. I had just gotten through depression, which
I endured alone, simply because that’s how I deal with issues. But I’ll get
more into that a little later. The last 10 months of my life I have been
working my regular full time job along with a part time job at Sunglass Hut.
With so much work, I haven’t had time to have as much of a social life as I would
have like, but that’s not to say I’ve had a bad time.
I have learned so much in the last two- three years that I would
like to share. As previously mentioned, I suffered from depression at the age
of 23. Things in life just weren’t going my way. I was starting to really
question my career choice. Things at work took a turn for the worst just as
they were starting to look promising. I literally couldn’t smile for months.
Then right as I started trying to smile, my one and half year old niece gets
diagnosed with leukemia. At this point I really started to question the
universe. I couldn’t understand why this was happening. I started distancing
myself from my friends only because I just couldn’t fake a smile. Then, the
icing on the cake, my dad has a heart attack while being prepped for a surgery
for a different medical condition. I just couldn’t deal anymore. In a matter of
4 months, my whole world had turned upside down. I was in a really dark place.
My own thoughts scared me.
As I was considering getting professional help, I decided to
go to church instead. I kneeled during Sunday morning mass and asked God to
help me, help myself, get out of the dark hole I was in. I walked out of church
that morning knowing everything would be fine. And it was. I put everything into perspective and felt
like a new person. In my path towards recovery, if you will, I lost someone who
I considered to be a best friend. This person decided to take my absence from
social activities as a slap in the face, which was not the case at all. I was
trashed all over social media by this person and instead of reacting; I decided
that I had to cut out all the negativity from my life. And I realized that there was no reason to be
sad anymore, because I still had the two most important things in life: FAMILY
and HEALTH.
It’s been almost 3 years since I decided to live a happy and
healthy life, inside and out. And I’m glad to report that my niece is now
cancer free and she’ll be going to Hawaii in a few days for her Make-A-Wish. My
dad is healthy, despite all of his medical conditions and we just celebrated his
70th birthday last month. I guess what I’m really trying to say is
that you should never give up on life and really learn to see everything as a
life lesson. I truly believe that you have to fall before you can rise and that
God will never give us more than we can handle.
In all of this, I have also found true self-confidence. I
can do anything I put my mind to. I don’t need anyone to hold my hand anymore.
I’m not scared to be alone. I’m not scared of what other people are going to
think. I’m not scared of failing. I’m not scared of life.
I will resume my blog on a regular basis because I owe it to
myself to go through with the things I want but maybe was too scared to do
before. My blog will obviously be a lot more personal now because even if only
one person reads my story, I hope that they can take something from it. But as
always, there will be a lot of makeup and fashion involved. Just with a lot
more wisdom and LOVE.
Besos!
